finding nemo.

sometimes,
i get stupid.well, most of the time i am. and right now, im just a scared little girl in a candy shop who lost her mom. im freaking out, and i dont know what to do; but when do i ever?

im scared. i do that. im terrified. a-LEE-sa says not to be because things happen for a reason, but what if i dont like the end result. i just want MY alex to hold me. the one i knew the one that loved me. i want HIM to tell me its okay, but idk. maybe a-LEE-sa is right, maybe in the end this will make us stronger.

but im so scared shitless. what did i do? this whole time ive realized whats been happening like ten minutes later. its ridiculous. idk whats going on anymore. im out of control. my life isnt in my hands anymore.

i just want to die.