my past 24hrs

feeling slightly disoriented
from this pain erupting
this disappointment in everything
i shouldnt have gone to sleep.
this epic failure of the world gets me everytime, it screams give up already. you kno you want.
i am truly sick of it all, i begin to wonder what is going to happen what is going to stick
my past 24hrs i do not want to relive
it started with a couple of texts of course
depression slowly creeping on me, happiness not wanting to let go.
such a simple outfit i admit but not in a conceited way i kinda looked ???beautiful???
then all of a sudden i hated myself for sleeping, i mean why would i do such a thing? i knew what would happen
we all know this world was way too good to be true.
then a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig humongeous task abrupted me. i had to shop since i now available.
you kno i love shopping with others peoples money but with IDIOTS not moving OMFG!
it was ridiculous and i had to get stuff it was NECCESSARY
and when i didnt i felt bad, cause i felt like i failed ya kno?
my dad needed this or he wouldnt hear the end of it after. so when i didnt find i just felt like
the world was bieng so unfair
i know its not supposed to be i never said i wanted it to.
but to put people down because someone was a little bored is just not appropiate not right not how the world should be.
then i get home and my dads truck got tipied
i just said omg what else could happen ya kno?
i wanted to break.
i wanted to die.
cause i cant be happy can i? i shouldnt of gone to sleep.
i cant forget it any of it.
i guess its a lesson that im supposed to learn but i dont want to forget.
somehow i went wrong really really wrong
and idk what to do
not anymore...

diana your mind speaks mine. but then again. since when are people in love ever in their right mind?

i love how.

you tell everyone else but me.
because talking about me is always there business
your hate and annoyance amuses me the most
true the truth stings like a bitch
so what does the things you say do?
they make me take a step back
breath a little
cause we all know what can happen when i get mad
but i dont
i take a step back and i breathe
because im not going to regret this
you are.
i evaluate all thats been said and done
and i remember who you were
not who they make you out to be now
cause what they think is nothing
but obviously you dont think that
i remember that you were not always in my life
so i can live without you
i admit that maybe for a little i think of how ridiculous ur lies are
but do i think of hurting you
never.
maybe thats what i did to you
I FUCKING CARED.
ill be anything you want.
your enemy
your best friend
just as long as it makes you feel better.
so whatever hate me.
ill step aside
ill let you fall
and maybe ill be there to catch you
but right now i honestly dont know

true friends stab you in the front.

dear diana, i never understand it.

what did we do to them?
to the world
im pretty sure
we would know if something like this was going to happen
something this heart breaking.
people say maybe they dont even realize what they are doing
but i would kno if i killed someone i would care.
to deserve something this bad
one starts to wonder what they truly did to deserve it
cause it must have been horrible
so why cant we remember?
were we unconcious
was it our alter ego
because i dont understand.
why cant we be happy.
is it just that bad.
will it be so unfair.
we dont even have to have them we just have to know the truth
the truth about why all this has started
why all this is whats left
its impossible for this feeling to go away in us so what is wrong with them?
or was it never real? im pretty sure it was.
not even they are that fucked up
the lowest of the lowest feeling is when
you make someone your everything and they walk away just because it was a little chilly outside.

misery likes company
ill die with you diana.