feeling slightly disoriented
from this pain erupting
this disappointment in everything
i shouldnt have gone to sleep.
this epic failure of the world gets me everytime, it screams give up already. you kno you want.
i am truly sick of it all, i begin to wonder what is going to happen what is going to stick
my past 24hrs i do not want to relive
it started with a couple of texts of course
depression slowly creeping on me, happiness not wanting to let go.
such a simple outfit i admit but not in a conceited way i kinda looked ???beautiful???
then all of a sudden i hated myself for sleeping, i mean why would i do such a thing? i knew what would happen
we all know this world was way too good to be true.
then a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig humongeous task abrupted me. i had to shop since i now available.
you kno i love shopping with others peoples money but with IDIOTS not moving OMFG!
it was ridiculous and i had to get stuff it was NECCESSARY
and when i didnt i felt bad, cause i felt like i failed ya kno?
my dad needed this or he wouldnt hear the end of it after. so when i didnt find i just felt like
the world was bieng so unfair
i know its not supposed to be i never said i wanted it to.
but to put people down because someone was a little bored is just not appropiate not right not how the world should be.
then i get home and my dads truck got tipied
i just said omg what else could happen ya kno?
i wanted to break.
i wanted to die.
cause i cant be happy can i? i shouldnt of gone to sleep.
i cant forget it any of it.
i guess its a lesson that im supposed to learn but i dont want to forget.
somehow i went wrong really really wrong
and idk what to do
not anymore...
diana your mind speaks mine. but then again. since when are people in love ever in their right mind?
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I don't think people in love are ever in their right mind, and that's better than being a "thinker" and always listening to thoughts instead of their heartbeat. I mentioned this in some blog from the early days of the breakup: When you're really in love and that special person is drowning in a pool, you would jump in there with a heartbeat, regardless of what the consequences are - whether you would die or not, just as long as you're with them. The one that doesn't know love would go and grab a life vest, or start from the shallow end and work their way to the deep end to save the person. To know that you're in pain alongside me makes me feel much more comforted. I love you too. Don't worry about what has happened in the past.
ReplyDeleteThis will sound kind of psychotic, but we really do enjoy this pain. This pain consists of all the memories that made us happy. And we don't want to forget. "Don't forget" - demi.
So I can't say I have anything to say to make you feel better, but I can say that we should linger in our misery before the day we really do move on.
diana, iloveyou. i wouldnt think if it was u in the pool.
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